The Pure Love of Pyrrha Nikos
by God Emperor Penguin
Summary: A tabloid magazine is interested in the Goddess of Victory's personal life. Pyrrha has a perfectly normal and healthy relationship with a plastic Jaune figurine.


**Summary:**_ A tabloid magazine is interested in the Goddess of Victory's personal life. Pyrrha has a perfectly normal and healthy relationship with a plastic Jaune figurine._

**The Pure Love of Pyrrha Nikos**

**RWBY**

_Written from the perspective of Pyrrha Nikos_

* * *

_Oooh_

_We're no strangers to love_  
_You know the rules and so do I_  
_A full commitment's what I'm thinking of_  
_You wouldn't get this from any other guy_

_I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling_  
_Gotta make you understand_

_Never gonna give you up_  
_Never gonna let you down_  
_Never gonna run around and desert you_  
_Never gonna make you cry_  
_Never gonna say goodbye_  
_Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you_

_We've known each other for so long_  
_Your heart's been aching, but you're too shy to say it_  
_Inside, we both know what's been going on_  
_We know the game and we're gonna play it_

_And if you ask me how I'm feeling_  
_Don't tell me you're too blind to see_

_Never gonna give you up_  
_Never gonna let you down_  
_Never gonna run around and desert you_  
_Never gonna make you cry_  
_Never gonna say goodbye_  
_Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you_

_Never gonna give you up_  
_Never gonna let you down_  
_Never gonna run around and desert you_  
_Never gonna make you cry_  
_Never gonna say goodbye_  
_Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you_

_(Ooh, give you up)  
(Ooh, give you up)_  
_Never gonna give, never gonna give_  
_(Give you up)_  
_Never gonna give, never gonna give_  
_(Give you up)_

_We've known each other for so long_  
_Your heart's been aching, but you're too shy to say it_  
_Inside, we both know what's been going on_  
_We know the game and we're gonna play it_

_I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling_  
_Gotta make you understand_

_Never gonna give you up_  
_Never gonna let you down_  
_Never gonna run around and desert you_  
_Never gonna make you cry_  
_Never gonna say goodbye_  
_Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you_

_Never gonna give you up_  
_Never gonna let you down_  
_Never gonna run around and desert you_  
_Never gonna make you cry_  
_Never gonna say goodbye_  
_Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you_

_Never gonna give you up_  
_Never gonna let you down_  
_Never gonna run around and desert you_  
_Never gonna make you cry_  
_Never gonna say goodbye_  
_Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you_

* * *

Hello!

Um... thank you for having me for this interview. I'm Pyrrha. I'm just your average girl... and-um-I look average? I suppose I do think I'm a bit strong... some people might call me the strongest of my generation. _Ahhh_-but that's too embarrassing!

Still.

I'm a girl.

And I have wants too, you know?

So... I got myself a boyfriend recently...

Yes. Want to meet him?

Be careful... he doesn't like to be touched by anyone other than me.

Ah-ah... he likes you! How can I tell? If you lick him at just the right spot-oh? The taste? Sorry it's a bit salty! Um... Jaune hasn't showered yet...

Yeah. He's handsome isn't he!

I'm really lucky he accepted me...

Oh?

No.

I don't know anything about that.

Please. What are you saying?

Jaune's right here.

What do you mean he's missing? Oh. Just his head's missing. Well that's no surprise...

Wait.

Stop.

This interview is over.

W-wait...

D-do you... smell that...? It s-smells... s-smells... l-like... blood...

Blood.

_Kill..._

_Maim..._

**BURN!**

**KILL MAIM BURN! **

**I'M GOING TO GOUGE YOUR EYES OUT AND CHUCK-SPEARS DOWN YOUR SOCKET FOR TRYING TO STEAL HIM AWAY FROM ME. **

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD. SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE.

* * *

**Ruby:** Holy fuck.

**Blake:** Isn't this live?

**Yang:** I guess Pyrrha's too attracted to Jaune! Hahaha!

**Blake:** Yeah... but weren't we looking for Jaune's killer?

**Yang: **You saw how badly we messed up with the White Fang stuff? Man, let the cops handle this one.

_Weiss pops some popcorn into her mouth._

_She gently pats Jaune's head resting in her giant purse._

**Weiss (internally):**_ All according to keikaku (keikaku means plan)_

* * *

_The Pure Love of Pyrrha Nikos Fin_


End file.
